Monday, May 23, 2011
First and last ride...
Ahhhhhhhh, motorcycles. Tonight, Chris asked if he could take the girls on their first ride on his bike. After mapping out a very short, slow route around the neighborhood and promising Chris that if he detoured from our agreed route and died, I wouldn't even call his parents or give him a funeral, the first (and if I had my way LAST) ride ensued. Ruby was first...
Here they wave as they ride off into the distance. I stood there thinking about the route in my head, trying to count each section of the distance in my head so I would know when to panic. I could hear the loud pipes vibrating almost the entire time...which was comforting.
As you can see, Ruby LOVED it. A lot.
Here's Alice all ready to go. We thought she looked pretty funny with her hood over the helmet.
My second baby off on her first ride...
After rounding the cul-de-sac, they headed out to the real streets...nothing with any traffic lights or speeds above 35mph, but I'm sure they shared the road with a few other cars.
Ruby ran to the corner to wait for them (I swear Alice's ride took longer than Ruby's ride, it was agonizing...there were two teenager cars thumping by our street at one point, and I didn't like that one bit.
It seems Alice was pretty pleased as well.
I don't really reign in my motorcycle fears to the kids. I think they should be scared of them! However, in spite of my "people who ride motorcycles die on motorcycles" rants, my kids feel pretty darn safe behind their daddy...and they want more.
Alice...
I love you Alice! Tonight while the kids took a first (of very few to come) motorcycle ride around the neighborhood with Chris, I got a few shots of Alice. It was about 8PM and the lighting was super fantastic and she flashed me some of her fantastic grins and I just loved on her with my camera. I have always known Alice was perfectly beautiful to me, but more and more, even though I know her look is very unique, I sure think she's beautiful.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
"Whatever, Kim..." and other Elena-isms...
We have a new addition in our home! A dog? A cat? A baby? Thank goodness, no! We have a 24 year old, single (okay, she does have a boyfriend), white female named Elena (ironically, her last name sounds just like ours...Peers)! Her name is pronounced EEE-LEE-Nuh. She moved in the end of February and we are so happy to have her around.
Elena has been a friend of ours from church for about three years. She usually has less than ideal living arrangements, and when we were on our trip in Florida, I became aware that her situation took a turn for the worse and after Chris an I deliberated for all of fifteen seconds (one quirk we share is the foster parent in us...), we told her we had room for her in our house. She is a super help around the house and she loves my girls. My girls love her too! When she babysits, she makes fun tents with them and draws and takes them out to ride bikes, it is so great. She works at Michaels and she makes beautiful jewelry.
I love her personality because she is confident and funny and talented. She makes us laugh a lot. She always tells Ruby, "Whatever Kim." and Ruby throws it right back at her. I guess this means, "I'm over you right now." She can also use other random phrases with like outdated names at the end...Diane, Debbie, etc. Hahahaha. We love Elena!!
My 34th birthday...
I always celebrate my birthday for at least a week. This year was no different. I even put up a pretty good fight, "leave me alone, I'm wallowing in I miss Mimi land"...but people weren't having it.
My mom came down for my birthday and I don't really remember what we did, but it was nice to be with her. I know that at some point we rolled around the corner to my house and saw a bunch of stuff in the yard. It wasn't immediately recognizable, but as I got closer and stared at it more, I realized it was "Happy B-day" spelled using bags of my favorite non-homemade popcorn. I knew immediately that someone was on Mimi's mission because this is our snack. She discovered this piece of heaven in the middle of her hell at Children's Hospital three years ago and we've had many a happy minute chomping on this stuff. I'm a popcorn snob...but this stuff is the bomb! So yummy that with a little help from my family and friends and a few trips to the movies with large groups armed with large bags stuffed with this stuff, FOURTY-FIVE bags were gone in three months. It would have been gone faster, but there weren't 45 bags of the original flavor, so the errand runner, Stephanie got a lot of the bags in the white cheddar flavor...and I'm a purist. I like my original. Hahaha. Eventually it was gone though. Mmmmmm, good.
I went to dinner with Chris that night. It was a gorgeous week for weather and it was actually really warm, so we walked along the Tacoma waterfront and had a nice dinner sitting right along the water. I loved having a slow dinner with no other people around and the best babysitter in the world at home with my kids.
I made the rounds. Had a girl's night with my locals at my friend Angela's house and enjoyed a late night of conversation and treats. Had a great time with Sommer meeting up at our halfway point and having dinner and then we did some shopping before seeing "Water for Elephants". From there, I drove up to my mom and dad's and my mom and I spent Saturday doing a ton of dry pack canning. That night I met up with my lifelong friends for dinner at Sandy's house. It was nice to be kid free and to see their littles!
I don't consider myself a birthday diva, but I was in need of some love from my people and it was nice to be so spoiled the whole week!
My mom came down for my birthday and I don't really remember what we did, but it was nice to be with her. I know that at some point we rolled around the corner to my house and saw a bunch of stuff in the yard. It wasn't immediately recognizable, but as I got closer and stared at it more, I realized it was "Happy B-day" spelled using bags of my favorite non-homemade popcorn. I knew immediately that someone was on Mimi's mission because this is our snack. She discovered this piece of heaven in the middle of her hell at Children's Hospital three years ago and we've had many a happy minute chomping on this stuff. I'm a popcorn snob...but this stuff is the bomb! So yummy that with a little help from my family and friends and a few trips to the movies with large groups armed with large bags stuffed with this stuff, FOURTY-FIVE bags were gone in three months. It would have been gone faster, but there weren't 45 bags of the original flavor, so the errand runner, Stephanie got a lot of the bags in the white cheddar flavor...and I'm a purist. I like my original. Hahaha. Eventually it was gone though. Mmmmmm, good.
I made the rounds. Had a girl's night with my locals at my friend Angela's house and enjoyed a late night of conversation and treats. Had a great time with Sommer meeting up at our halfway point and having dinner and then we did some shopping before seeing "Water for Elephants". From there, I drove up to my mom and dad's and my mom and I spent Saturday doing a ton of dry pack canning. That night I met up with my lifelong friends for dinner at Sandy's house. It was nice to be kid free and to see their littles!
I don't consider myself a birthday diva, but I was in need of some love from my people and it was nice to be so spoiled the whole week!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Alice's first riding lesson...
I really struggle with the little sibling following in the footsteps of her older sister thing. I don't mind if there is sincere desire to do the same things, but I worry sometimes that Alice will never develop her own passion for things that are different from Ruby's things because she always tags along.
So Alice took her first riding lesson. She enjoyed it, but it was a lot harder than she was expecting and I was happy that she opted to do gymnastics instead. I feel riding may still be her interest in a few years, but she is pretty young to focus like that for a full one hour horse riding lesson. Now I have to find a gymnastics class for her somewhere!
So Alice took her first riding lesson. She enjoyed it, but it was a lot harder than she was expecting and I was happy that she opted to do gymnastics instead. I feel riding may still be her interest in a few years, but she is pretty young to focus like that for a full one hour horse riding lesson. Now I have to find a gymnastics class for her somewhere!
University of Mimi...
I called this post University of Mimi, because I feel like while we have been friends over the past four years, I have been continually aware of ways that I could improve based Mimi's example. I'm not really the kind of person who measures up against someone and comes away feeling small. For me, it's either I come away glad to be who I am or motivated to change for the better. That said, I'm just not much for comparing. So when I say I compare myself to Mimi and come up short every time, it is not in the spirit of "I give up!" or "I could never be as ___________ as she is." It is more like, "huh...that part of Mimi is so appealing, I should see if it works for me too."
Okay, so Mimi is gone. She moved to Utah. A few days after Mimi made the announcement on her blog, my bff Lyndsey, a sister-friend of 29 years seriously sent me a text saying, "just saw Mimi's blog...she can't move! I don't feel right about her leaving you..." then, a few days later, an email from my Megan saying the same thing. But it is true, she did move. I wasn't planning on saying goodbye, I told her there wouldn't be a "goodbye moment." I just didn't think I needed that, and I was emotional just thinking about it. So she called me a few minutes before showing up on my doorstep to give me her local entertainment coupon book, her four kids in the van en route to Utah, and the goodbye was inevitable, and awful.
So I know our friendship isn't over, but I have been trying to figure out what is different about my friendship with Mimi that makes me so affected by her departure. I have been crying like someone has died for over 24 hours (obviously not continuously, but we are talking about hours of accumulation in the past day). I have loved other friends who have moved far away, and yet nothing like this. I think I've come up with a few reasons why Mimi is so special to me.
1. Mimi doesn't acknowledge my faults. I have many, many, many faults...and they are really noticeable when I am around Mimi, but she never seems to dwell on them. I could make lists right now of the things that the people closest to me wish they could change about me...but I can't think of anything that Mimi thinks is annoying. AMAZING! I recognize that there are things that bother her, but she must trust me to find them on my own. I love this about her! I have never even apologized to her for talking too much...and I apologize to the grocery checker for that!
2. Mimi changed me forever in 2006 when she assured me that I could "do no wrong" in her book. I think I had done something that I believed she may have been hurt by, so I called her to apologize, and she was like, "we are waaaaaaayyy past that, you don't have to worry about offending me, I know you!" I don't know if I have ever had someone put that kind of blanket confidence in me before, I'm not sure I really understood what she even meant. I do now. Mimi knows me, she knows that I don't want to hurt her, so she always gives me the benefit of the doubt. If something flies that shouldn't, she has already written it off. Does this sound relieving to anyone but me? This was like an exhale moment for me, because I'm a big pleaser, and I always analyze my behavior after a social gathering and then I start to wonder if this or that that I said or did was taken the wrong way, etc. I had exempt status with her, and learned how it felt and I've tried to extend that amnesty to other friends in my life. I know that much of this ability she has stems from her own stand alone, no- matter-what love for herself.
3. Mimi loves herself. She is so easy to be around, because she doesn't seek compliments, self deprecate, focus on her looks, apologize for every move she makes, etc. She just happily likes who she is. She isn't conceited, just content with her life herself. I really like myself too, and so being around her, I never felt I needed to play small, hide my success or deflect a compliment to make someone else feel better. This is a gift she possesses.
4. Mimi is limitless. Does that sound super cheesy? Well, that is because you don't know any limitless people. I only know of one, her. When Mimi was growing up and someone told her the old, "you can do anything you set your mind to cliche," she took it to heart and makes that a reality every day. A few months after I met her, she started an effort to raise money for a dear friend of hers who had upwards of $100,000 in medical debt. She had ongoing cancer like seven times, and children with special needs. Mimi wanted that debt gone...not the way most people would think...making payments for ten years? Nope. Mimi formed a committee and raised almost $40k in one evening for this family. Is that the same as $100k? No, but most of us would have been super satisfied with the $40k. Not Mimi...anything is possible, remember? So Mimi became the point of contact for all the debt collectors of her friends. She bargained hard with all these people trying to collect money from her friend and got debt halved all over the place. That's a big example. A small example is that Mimi doesn't have to show her YMCA card at the side entrance of our YMCA! Let me fill unfamiliar guests in that the side entrance might as be for the President of the United States, because with out the right cred, you are not getting in...unless you are Mimi! Basically, when she hears someone talk about something that is limiting them, she is surprised that they are allowing the limitation to limit them. She is limitless, and I have had some limitless moments on her coat tails, and it's pretty awesome.
5. Mimi is there for her people all the time, around the clock, no matter what, and she will never let you know how inconvenient your needing her is. I don't have this bone in my body. I think I've learned during our friendship, that I hardly ever make it easy on someone when they need me. It is so ugly to admit, but it is true. I give a lot of these kinds of responses, "Yeah, I can work that out...we have piano at noon, but I can just take all seven of the kids with me, no problem." Still willing, but I don't just leave it at: "Yeah, I can work that out." I kind of throw up my thought process of how what they need of me will fit into my life. Mimi could have been up all night with food poisoning and had three kids wet beds and if I called her to babysit for me all day, she'd simply say, "Sure, what time?" This is really hard for me to do. It is so nice to have this offered to me, that I am trying to remember this when people need me, but I'm not sure I am unconsciously succeeding yet.
Mimi, there are so many amazing things about you! I love that you make nice dinners for your family, that you go couponing like a crazy lady, that you love Utah, that you say, "about it" at the end of lots of sentences when it doesn't make sense. I am going to miss the last minute text about running to Target and that turning into a leisurely shopping trip followed by shenanigans at one of our houses. I will miss your kids, I'll miss your JB and playing pictionary with you guys even though we never win. I will miss my kids playing with your kids, I'll miss you on the Elma trip this weekend, I'll miss Zumba with you and by you and I'll miss your kids knowing who I am when I walk in the door. I'll miss your laundry room entrances and your reclining couches. I'll miss the thug JB makes you and the ease of never having to explain my grumpy husband to you. I will miss your in-law family at all the random gatherings and the perpetual gatherings at your house because Chris can't hang with the threat of kids making messes. I'll miss being uncensored me, myself and I. I will miss the four of us laughing every time we get together about the same RB legend and other related stories. I'll miss being around you and John because your playful dynamic is super enjoyable to witness and for sure know that I can't ever compare down to you. I'll miss being your event photographer, and working with you and learning together. I'll miss Mia flirting with Chris and calling me, "Becca." I'll miss lemonade stands, garage sales, backyard marshmallow roasting and the babysitting shuffles that end with you doing all the driving of my sitter for me. I'll miss debriefing awkward situations that we both witness after the fact and having someone with a van that sometimes even rivals mine in nastiness.
Thank goodness I get to keep a few things...talking on the phone, IMing and reading your blog. Are those the only things I get to keep? Hmmmmmm...yep.
Don't hate me for posting these pics. I've been looking forward to them for so long...
Okay, so Mimi is gone. She moved to Utah. A few days after Mimi made the announcement on her blog, my bff Lyndsey, a sister-friend of 29 years seriously sent me a text saying, "just saw Mimi's blog...she can't move! I don't feel right about her leaving you..." then, a few days later, an email from my Megan saying the same thing. But it is true, she did move. I wasn't planning on saying goodbye, I told her there wouldn't be a "goodbye moment." I just didn't think I needed that, and I was emotional just thinking about it. So she called me a few minutes before showing up on my doorstep to give me her local entertainment coupon book, her four kids in the van en route to Utah, and the goodbye was inevitable, and awful.
So I know our friendship isn't over, but I have been trying to figure out what is different about my friendship with Mimi that makes me so affected by her departure. I have been crying like someone has died for over 24 hours (obviously not continuously, but we are talking about hours of accumulation in the past day). I have loved other friends who have moved far away, and yet nothing like this. I think I've come up with a few reasons why Mimi is so special to me.
1. Mimi doesn't acknowledge my faults. I have many, many, many faults...and they are really noticeable when I am around Mimi, but she never seems to dwell on them. I could make lists right now of the things that the people closest to me wish they could change about me...but I can't think of anything that Mimi thinks is annoying. AMAZING! I recognize that there are things that bother her, but she must trust me to find them on my own. I love this about her! I have never even apologized to her for talking too much...and I apologize to the grocery checker for that!
2. Mimi changed me forever in 2006 when she assured me that I could "do no wrong" in her book. I think I had done something that I believed she may have been hurt by, so I called her to apologize, and she was like, "we are waaaaaaayyy past that, you don't have to worry about offending me, I know you!" I don't know if I have ever had someone put that kind of blanket confidence in me before, I'm not sure I really understood what she even meant. I do now. Mimi knows me, she knows that I don't want to hurt her, so she always gives me the benefit of the doubt. If something flies that shouldn't, she has already written it off. Does this sound relieving to anyone but me? This was like an exhale moment for me, because I'm a big pleaser, and I always analyze my behavior after a social gathering and then I start to wonder if this or that that I said or did was taken the wrong way, etc. I had exempt status with her, and learned how it felt and I've tried to extend that amnesty to other friends in my life. I know that much of this ability she has stems from her own stand alone, no- matter-what love for herself.
3. Mimi loves herself. She is so easy to be around, because she doesn't seek compliments, self deprecate, focus on her looks, apologize for every move she makes, etc. She just happily likes who she is. She isn't conceited, just content with her life herself. I really like myself too, and so being around her, I never felt I needed to play small, hide my success or deflect a compliment to make someone else feel better. This is a gift she possesses.
4. Mimi is limitless. Does that sound super cheesy? Well, that is because you don't know any limitless people. I only know of one, her. When Mimi was growing up and someone told her the old, "you can do anything you set your mind to cliche," she took it to heart and makes that a reality every day. A few months after I met her, she started an effort to raise money for a dear friend of hers who had upwards of $100,000 in medical debt. She had ongoing cancer like seven times, and children with special needs. Mimi wanted that debt gone...not the way most people would think...making payments for ten years? Nope. Mimi formed a committee and raised almost $40k in one evening for this family. Is that the same as $100k? No, but most of us would have been super satisfied with the $40k. Not Mimi...anything is possible, remember? So Mimi became the point of contact for all the debt collectors of her friends. She bargained hard with all these people trying to collect money from her friend and got debt halved all over the place. That's a big example. A small example is that Mimi doesn't have to show her YMCA card at the side entrance of our YMCA! Let me fill unfamiliar guests in that the side entrance might as be for the President of the United States, because with out the right cred, you are not getting in...unless you are Mimi! Basically, when she hears someone talk about something that is limiting them, she is surprised that they are allowing the limitation to limit them. She is limitless, and I have had some limitless moments on her coat tails, and it's pretty awesome.
5. Mimi is there for her people all the time, around the clock, no matter what, and she will never let you know how inconvenient your needing her is. I don't have this bone in my body. I think I've learned during our friendship, that I hardly ever make it easy on someone when they need me. It is so ugly to admit, but it is true. I give a lot of these kinds of responses, "Yeah, I can work that out...we have piano at noon, but I can just take all seven of the kids with me, no problem." Still willing, but I don't just leave it at: "Yeah, I can work that out." I kind of throw up my thought process of how what they need of me will fit into my life. Mimi could have been up all night with food poisoning and had three kids wet beds and if I called her to babysit for me all day, she'd simply say, "Sure, what time?" This is really hard for me to do. It is so nice to have this offered to me, that I am trying to remember this when people need me, but I'm not sure I am unconsciously succeeding yet.
Mimi, there are so many amazing things about you! I love that you make nice dinners for your family, that you go couponing like a crazy lady, that you love Utah, that you say, "about it" at the end of lots of sentences when it doesn't make sense. I am going to miss the last minute text about running to Target and that turning into a leisurely shopping trip followed by shenanigans at one of our houses. I will miss your kids, I'll miss your JB and playing pictionary with you guys even though we never win. I will miss my kids playing with your kids, I'll miss you on the Elma trip this weekend, I'll miss Zumba with you and by you and I'll miss your kids knowing who I am when I walk in the door. I'll miss your laundry room entrances and your reclining couches. I'll miss the thug JB makes you and the ease of never having to explain my grumpy husband to you. I will miss your in-law family at all the random gatherings and the perpetual gatherings at your house because Chris can't hang with the threat of kids making messes. I'll miss being uncensored me, myself and I. I will miss the four of us laughing every time we get together about the same RB legend and other related stories. I'll miss being around you and John because your playful dynamic is super enjoyable to witness and for sure know that I can't ever compare down to you. I'll miss being your event photographer, and working with you and learning together. I'll miss Mia flirting with Chris and calling me, "Becca." I'll miss lemonade stands, garage sales, backyard marshmallow roasting and the babysitting shuffles that end with you doing all the driving of my sitter for me. I'll miss debriefing awkward situations that we both witness after the fact and having someone with a van that sometimes even rivals mine in nastiness.
Thank goodness I get to keep a few things...talking on the phone, IMing and reading your blog. Are those the only things I get to keep? Hmmmmmm...yep.
Don't hate me for posting these pics. I've been looking forward to them for so long...
I call this one, "Stage Mom Husband."
This one is of course, "Copping a Feel."
This one will have to be called, "Get a Room."
Either "You Can't Touch This" or "John Who?"
"Beauty Queen and the Geek" or "Geeks Need Love Too."
Friday, May 6, 2011
Mimi's birthday party...
So I normally wouldn't post about someone else's birthday party, but I had so much fun planning this one...I wanted to journal it. It's my journal, you can read it you want to. (Sung to "It's my party, I can cry if I want to...")
Okay, so Mimi has a love language that they don't talk about in the book about love languages. It is called, "Birthday Party Love Language." When you have this language, it means that you love spoiling other people on their birthdays, making a big deal out of them, etc. Mimi hardly knew me and when she heard I was turning 30 and that Chris was thinking of throwing my party at a bowling alley...she intervened and really spoiled me (with help from Sandy and Sommer...oh...and Chris/Costco). She really is big on her kids' birthdays and if you love her, you will be at every party...she notices if you don't go (she doesn't make you feel bad, but she does really want you there). So...she turned 30 on May 5th...and John and I were in full swing planning mode by February.
In order to pull it off, I called on some of Mimi's peeps to be in charge of the big stuff...John was in charge of drinks and he was the food shopper, purchaser, menu planner and his whole family, namely Anne took on the food prep, presentation...everything dinner related was all them. They made an amazing taco and fish taco buffet of perfection and wow...it was just super tasty. Ashley and Jake Tracy made arrangements to host the party at the Tracy Castle, so we had a great spot to host a lot of people and play good music, dance and eat, etc. Mimi is a dancer and so at some point, the idea came to me to surprise her with a flash mob of sorts during the party. Jennifer Wilcox was happy to take over by organizing practices and learning the dance herself so she could teach the rest of us. So THANKS to all the people who pulled it all off!
Rachel was in charge of decorations and she did an amazing job with centerpieces that were tasty and cute and went with the theme and doubled as a party favor...so cute! She also coordinated with the cake people and the dinner people and made nice cards describing the yummy spreads to tie in the decor. It was really a nice looking party with great detail thanks to her efforts!
Mimi's girls, Analisa and Jaime went head to head on a massive cupcake bar (I can't believe I took only close up shots, because the table was literally cupcakes enmasse...there were 200 of them!!
Rachel made these fancy favors with york peppermint patties in the middle...so tasty and cute!
I set up a photobooth...
Here she is at the big surprise...
Rachel and Mimi...
Carol and Gary...
Josh and Jen...
Mimi and her SIL's, Deena, Beth and Shila.
Mimi's sisters came from UT but they were in a car accident (ahhhhh) on the way to the party, so they were late...the reveal was so much fun! Boonie and Regan...
Mimi and I at the tail end of the party...
John and Meem...John really went to a LOT of work for this shin-dig...he even rose to the list of the most frequently called person that isn't in my "favorites"!
Chris had to be my "light tester" person. He was really enthusiastic.
Honestly, the party was super fun to plan but by the night of I was kind of starting to feel the imminent departure of my "person". It was super odd to be consumed with party stuff the weeks leading to her move because I just wasn't there for her the way I wanted to be with packing and kid watching and getting our kids together and all of that. I just knew she'd understand why once the party was over. Anyway, so it was a farewell/birthday party...so bittersweet.
Okay, so Mimi has a love language that they don't talk about in the book about love languages. It is called, "Birthday Party Love Language." When you have this language, it means that you love spoiling other people on their birthdays, making a big deal out of them, etc. Mimi hardly knew me and when she heard I was turning 30 and that Chris was thinking of throwing my party at a bowling alley...she intervened and really spoiled me (with help from Sandy and Sommer...oh...and Chris/Costco). She really is big on her kids' birthdays and if you love her, you will be at every party...she notices if you don't go (she doesn't make you feel bad, but she does really want you there). So...she turned 30 on May 5th...and John and I were in full swing planning mode by February.
In order to pull it off, I called on some of Mimi's peeps to be in charge of the big stuff...John was in charge of drinks and he was the food shopper, purchaser, menu planner and his whole family, namely Anne took on the food prep, presentation...everything dinner related was all them. They made an amazing taco and fish taco buffet of perfection and wow...it was just super tasty. Ashley and Jake Tracy made arrangements to host the party at the Tracy Castle, so we had a great spot to host a lot of people and play good music, dance and eat, etc. Mimi is a dancer and so at some point, the idea came to me to surprise her with a flash mob of sorts during the party. Jennifer Wilcox was happy to take over by organizing practices and learning the dance herself so she could teach the rest of us. So THANKS to all the people who pulled it all off!
Rachel was in charge of decorations and she did an amazing job with centerpieces that were tasty and cute and went with the theme and doubled as a party favor...so cute! She also coordinated with the cake people and the dinner people and made nice cards describing the yummy spreads to tie in the decor. It was really a nice looking party with great detail thanks to her efforts!
Chris had to be my "light tester" person. He was really enthusiastic.
Honestly, the party was super fun to plan but by the night of I was kind of starting to feel the imminent departure of my "person". It was super odd to be consumed with party stuff the weeks leading to her move because I just wasn't there for her the way I wanted to be with packing and kid watching and getting our kids together and all of that. I just knew she'd understand why once the party was over. Anyway, so it was a farewell/birthday party...so bittersweet.
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