Before my rant, isn't "K" a beautiful senior? She's heading off to college at BYU-Idaho in the fall. Watch OUT World!
There is something so conflicting about graduating high school! I think a part of me will always be trying to grapple with the fact that when I graduated, I was on a slippery slope to permanent adulthood and great responsibility. Sometimes when I'm around these bright, carefree, almost-adults, it hits me that in a few short years they might be paying a mortgage, putting in 50 hours at the office, toting toddlers around on airplanes and taking on other countless adult responsibilities. It is funny that I have this inner conflict because it isn't like I didn't live it up in college! I didn't get married young, I didn't have children before I was pining away for them, and I travelled, earned a degree, latin danced and crushed on guys with accents before I settled down with my man.
I think I secretly yearn for that fountain of youth...not just for myself, but for everyone. Even though I look forward to my children growing more independent, I actually feel a little remorse when they learn to do something new for themselves. Not remorse that they are growing independent of me (I actually LOVE that), but that they are gradually becoming responsible for themselves, and they don't even know it! Literally, when they potty train or move out of their crib or learn to ride a bike or brush their own hair, I think..."slow down, the mortgage is around the corner!"
Last year around Christmas, we were in the process of moving, and we had a glitch at the last minute with our loan (when the accountant sends you your tax portfolio, he includes a postage-paid envelope filled with original documents that you actually have to sign and mail to the IRS on your own) and two days before Christmas, I had to put all the packing and wrapping on hold to take care of the urgent issue. It was a crazy day, and when I got home and looked at my sweet babysitter, who was months from graduation, and had been babysitting for me since she was 14, I lost it. I actually cried! I told her, "I don't feel a day older than you on the inside, but I woke up this morning with two kids and an issue with the IRS, and Christmas presents for two whole families on the kitchen table--they should have been mailed three weeks ago!"
I begged her to stay little and sent the poor, baffled teenager on her way.
Life happens little by little, and it is all such a blessing and part of progression, but sometimes, there's a teenager in me that wonders how she got involved with all this adult stuff.
Anyone else ever have these moments?
