Picture day!

I'm the photographer every year for our co-op back to school pics fall 2015 and that always means my kids don't get really prepared for pics. It isn't likely that I would get them all ready even if I wasn't the photogapher for a 9:15 arrival. I think they are the cutest no matter what.

Thoughts on Mothering...

Being a mother to all four of my babies has been an all-consuming experience. The soul crushing love I have felt watching them all grow up has been consistent with them all. The immediate love when they are born and the natural desire to protect, nurture and give them the love all children deserve...it's just always there. I'm so far from a perfect mom, but the intense connection I feel to my kids has always been just there. I think it is that way for most. We all think the sun rises and sets with those faces, the smiles, the mis-spoken words, even the tantrums and messes.

It's just intense being a mother. Intensely joyous and also intensely difficult. It isn't easy to exist in an all day service project. It isn't fun to hold a toddler while taking a poop or to have four eyes watching while you shower. It isn't easy to navigate the sibling rivalry or to hide in the garage knowing little people with needs are actively looking for you while you try to pay a bill. It is joyful when they first learn to say, "I love you." Or when they learn to give kisses. When they dance, poop in the potty, throw up in a bowl or hold the hand of a sibling to comfort them when they are hurt. Those moments are the kind where you feel like your hear has grown inside your chest. There are so many moments like that.

With my baby boy though it is different. Not because of who he is, I think it is either because he is the last one or possibly because I have the motherhood experience now that I lacked when I was a mother with fewer years behind me. If I could, I wouldn't take a poop without Leo on my lap. If I could, I would chat with him while I showered every single time. I am in full life abandonment over this baby. I am not put out by him ever. I want to snuggle him to sleep, I want to share a bed with him, I want to read him ten stories, I want to sing him fifty songs, and when he sleeps I miss him. I have never experienced that before.

I feel like if motherhood ever was this joyful I would have wanted more kids. I don't regret having four, and I wasn't even in charge of when they came, I didn't have the luxury of getting pregnant right when I wanted. But I think if I had felt this way when Ruby was two, I may have eight kids right now.

When Ruby was little, the cutest, sweetest, easiest toddler ever created...I lived for nap time and bed time. I mean when she was awake, she was my best friend and we had a great time bathing, puzzling, parking, strolling and jabbering. A GREAT time...but I was always ready for me time.

I still enjoy me time, and I still get it. I just don't have half my mind fantasizing about it while I am pushing Leo in the swing. With the first three, I would commonly feel like the clock would never arrive at the bedtime hour, but with this last one, I more often than not realize it is 9:40 and little buddy is still going strong and it is no shirt off my back.

So there. Mothering thoughts by me twelve and a half years into the mom gig.

Seaside Cell phone pics...

It is kind of a bummer that the pics seem to upload in reverse order. So we went to Seaside, OR for a full week in July. It was just before Jeff's family moved to Spain and they were able to come for some of the time, I think we got there on a Wednesday and they left on Monday. Anyway, we were all there, even Ashley, Jordan's girlfriend was able to make it with him for a few days. Chris couldn't come, I think he got there Friday night and left Monday before it was light out, which was a major bummer.

I LOVE SEASIDE. I am seriously a little bit obsessed. I had no idea Hawaii like beaches and cute shopping and beauty like that was so close to home. I understand the weather isn't always perfect, but we had nearly perfect weather and enjoyed a balance between the great, oceanside pool at Worldmark where we had four units totaling nine bedrooms, and the beautiful, deep, sandy beaches with cool water (I prefer cold water). It was sunny and perfect. 

The sad part was the day Jeff and Mary left (they moved to Rota, Spain for a 3-5 year job on a naval base there)...we had to say goodbye to them! Here are some sad kids...Ruby, Sarah (moving), Alice and Hailey.

Alice really loves Sarah, she feels a special friendship with her and was super sad about her moving.

Here are the five older girls which often hang out all together. Alice, Sarah, Emma, Ruby and Hailey. 

We went to a local surfing beach after we said goodbye.

Braden and Amanda in heaven...

Betsey and Carson are such happy buddies. 

My strong baby girl doing a long handstand.

Gosh the pool was so awesome. Leo learned to float pretty well with his puddle jumper which really helped him have fun in a later trip to McCall.

We were only one unit from the front of the oceanside building so we had a beautiful, unobstructed view of the ocean and sunsets.

The Bachelorette always has to end when I'm away from my viewing buddies. Thankfully, Jordan and Ashley are regular viewers and wanted to catch the finale with me. So this happened in April and it's November and they are still together which is pretty legit for the outcomes of the show. Anyway, it is just a silly thing I have fun watching with my girlfriends.

One of the best parts of the trip was sharing a room with Leo. He just wakes up so happy and since Chris was not with us, we slept in the same bed most of the time which is heavenly.

Ice cream trips in jammies!

We played Telestrations togehter a bunch which is our fave. We had so many laughs. I don't remember how this started, Oh! The word was "newborn" and my dad figured if he drew a baby, no one would get newborn, they would just say "baby", hence the delivery picture. Good times. Did anyone guess, "newborn?" No.

Seriously, who claims this one? So bad. 

Exploring caves at the beach.

Molly, Carson, Nathan, Jane, Addy, Betsey, Mason, Van.

Alice and Emma.

Hailey, Sara and Ru.

My mom with some littles.

Heather made some super cute YW theme shirts for the girls. So nice. 

We got away as just adults for a nice dinner at a fish and chips place, I think it is called Dukes. So tasty.

Canon Beach.

Canon Beach is amazing to see. I wish it hadn't been freezing, hurricane winds on the day we went. It was perfect weather if it weren't for the wind. But we got to the beach and promptly turned around, it was that windy. It was awful.

More views from our room.

I even managed to bust out a few quilt squares on the trip! 

So the bottom line is, I don't think I can ever go a summer without Seaside again. I really, really loved it there. I want a full fledged vacation property there so I can drive three hours and just be in paradise. However, I am nervous about the possibility of an earthquake or tsunami taking the coast into the sea. So anyway, a vacation home is a pipe dream regardless of natural disasters.

Seaside, OR Family Photoshoot...

We had an amazing family reunion in Seaside, OR this summer. Wow. I loved it there. I have really not done much coastal stuff in WA or OR and it's such a shame! Wow to the sand, the water, the beauty, the touristy feel to the town. I just love Seaside. So. Much. I'm not a hot weather and warm water person, so the mild but nice weather, the cold water...does it get better? I literally fell in love with this place a three hour drive from home. 

I didn't take many pics with my nice camera, but here are a few...

Cute Isaac...the youngest grand baby, and Jeff and Mary's youngest...

Isaac and Mary...

Sleeping on the beach is the best. Here are my folks.

those two big buildings behind him is where we stayed. Our room was on the left side only one room from the beach side of the building. We stayed at Worldmark which can't be beat. Best spot in Seaside! Thanks for putting us up, Mom and Dad! We had four rooms for the big group and it worked well. I shared a three bedroom unit with Robb and Heather's family. It was fun.

Molly...I may have taken more pics of Molly because she moved to Spain like two weeks after this trip!

Leo loves playing in the sand!

So does Betsey...

So do all the cousins...

We ventured out in our coordinating outfits for a big family photoshoot...I'm so glad we did. It was a beautiful backdrop and the weather was perfect and the kids, though dirty pretty fast...took some amazing portraits! And now...please endure and onslaught of Hamm Family posers...

First, the older boys. Van, Nathan, Carson and Mason...

Next, the three little boys...

Isaac, Leo and Davis.

Be still my obsessed heart...

They were a hoot to photograph...but I mean, Leo is pretty much nailing this shot.

My folks, who I am told look like mature models...

Jordan and Ashley with a photobomber...

Jordan and Ashley...it was our first time having Ashley join our family on a vacation. It was so fun having her along and getting to know her better. She fits in well.

The big girls...

Hailey, Sarah, Ruby, Alice and Emma...

Had so much fun with these beauties.

My mom playing with some of the kids while I worked with other groups.

Jeff and Mary.

The three first borns. Three girls, born within eight months of one another. Hailey is the youngest, Ruby is the oldest and Sarah is between...

My folks with their grand kids...

 My folks with their five children. What a blessing to still be all around, able to take a picture like this...

 Braden's cute family...Amanda has her hands full with those three cute buddies.

 The little girls. Jane is the older of these three by a couple years, but she is one of the girls. Betsey, Addy and Molly are all close in age, just a few months between the three. So fun.

 Bets, Jane, Adaline, Molly...

 Isaac was ready for more pics after a good roll in the sand.

  

 Leo wouldn't join us for another pic, but my girls did. 

 Braden and Amanda...

 Emma and Alice are truly besties.

My family. I don't mind it.

Jeff and Amanda's family...

 Braden and Amanda's family...