Funny guy...

(Anne, I sat down to get more of my committed words in my novel but had to write this instead...does it count?)

I don't remember when or why it came up, but this summer when we were camping with our old schools, Leisha said that I was a lucky one because I married someone with a sense of humor. Turns out I am an auditory learner and sometimes I don't really understand something until I either hear it or say it out loud. Since she said that, I've thought about how much laughing with Chris means to me. I have always known he is funny, of course...and I believe if when I was single I was asked to rank the typical qualities I look for in a match, I would have likely ranked sense of humor as numero uno. So I shouldn't have really learned anything different from that remark, but it refreshed gratitude in me at that moment for that quality/talent Chris possesses. 

One of my favorite things to laugh about is when Chris pretends he is the expert at something. He never backs down, ever. He is very clever in his ability to, for example, speak fluent Spanish. Hypothetical example follows:

"Mi casa es su casa." 
What are you talking about?
I just said, "I want some dinner" in Spanish.
"That isn't how you say that."
"It is how I say it, how do you say it?" 
"Quiero cenar." 
"Well that is one way to say that." or even funnier, "that is what I said!" 

You'd be surprised how long this can go on. He can go all night on three Spanish phrases pretending like he's a native Mexican. The other day he was relying on Tae Kwon Do Japanese counting to convince me he is pretty much Japanese. I am convinced. He can count to ten...and he can say, "Domo arigato," and I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with the song by Styx.

The same mock cockiness applies to EVERYTHING else in the whole world. Sometimes he isn't even trying to be funny, but it is funny. Like when he decided in five minutes at Lowes he was going to start a garden in mid-JUNE. Now, I don't know much about gardening, but I do know that you don't start a tomato, lettuce, carrot, corn (yes, corn!!), onion, beet, cucumber and radish garden in mid-June in a grow box that you have spent 7 years burdening the contained weeds with Round-up spray. Undaunted, he and the girls marveled over how tall the corn was getting in spite of weeks without water and most of the other plants already giving up the ghost. He banked on that corn coming up clear into October when it was a good three feet tall. I thought it was pretty endearing and hilarious. Whenever I would try and point out that maybe they had started too late, he is quick to remind me that I know nothing and he knows everything. Now it is February and he is already talking about this summer's garden grandeur but I am unconvinced that he has done any actual learning still...as it turns out gardens don't grow from charm alone. 

I think the hardest I laughed in a very long time was really recently when Chris claimed he was pretty much a professional dog trainer. I just laughed alone here in my office for a good three minutes trying to write this. Have you ever met Stone!? Stone! The dog that Chris always claims is perfectly behaved and trained but literally never moved an inch unless it was due to his own conviction to do so? Stone, the dog that eventually Chris decided was hard of hearing because he would lolly gag around the neighborhood with us shouting after him and completely ignore us? Stone, the dog that pulled as if in a tug of war match the entire time he was ever on leash? Stone, yes. The fruit of Chris' dog training labors. Yes. It was funny because he was serious and I couldn't hardly eek out my rebuttal but he knew he was ridiculous and eventually he laughed with me. The next day, I asked, "What was that you claimed to be a pro at yesterday?" He pretended he didn't know to what I referred. Then he quietly said, "That I am an expert dog trainer." And there I went again. So funny. Can't get enough of that idea! Since then I have noticed as we progressively head farther down the path of Penny owning our lives that Chris is now referring to his successful dog training efforts proven by his childhood dog, Scooter. The question is, did Chris actually single handedly train Scooter? If you ask him he did...and also, can an experience training a dog when you are eight possibly equal relevant experience thirty years later?

I remind Chris every so often that he doesn't have to feel stuck in his career choice. I'll say, "We can live in an apartment or with my parents or in a trailer and I can work part time and you can do anything...you want to build chicken coops or install finish carpentry or answer questions about anything in any department at Lowes (he definitely knows WAY more than the people who work in any of the Lowes departments and he hates it if they try and tell him otherwise)." He always appreciates the potential freedom but he's always liked more than hated his jobs and so it goes. So anyway, he is obsessed with a show, "Storage Wars" where people bid on storage units that are past due on rent payments at an auction. They walk with the contents of the lockers and of course score things that are super impressive and worth a ton of money. Anyway, so the other night after he had unloaded his fourth unit into our garage and had picked through it all and was amped about the stuff he was going to sell, I said, "Maybe you can be a thrift store owner one day!" I really am not above that at all, but I was joking. 100%. Not serious. He goes, "I think that's it. That is what I want to do." I laughed and laughed, though I know he wasn't joking. 

The other night, I had seen a commercial for a show on MTV about perfect matches. People underwent some intense interviews and personality and compatibility testing and they find their perfect match. So we were lying in bed and I said, "I wonder what would happen if we took a compatibility test--" I didn't even finish my sentence and Chris said, "Done. Not. Compatible." Bwahahahahaha. AMEN! He kept going with it and I just kept laughing and agreeing. 

We are two truly incompatible people in love...and we even can be pretty convincingly not in love if you ask those who spend much time around us. 

Anyway, if he weren't super hot and hilarious I'd have nothing to go on. Thank goodness for those two things! Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Anniversary! Twelve years!

I'd say our twelfth year was our best. I love Chris more now than I did when we got married. I loved having a fourth baby with him and enjoying a little man around the house with Chris has been so much fun. I feel like we are better at putting each other first and it makes us happier together to think of each other. That may be simple for some, but it isn't for us. We are naturally selfish! I used to think Chris was an Ace at parenting and could earn maybe an average grade at the whole marriage thing...but I don't feel that way anymore. He is a straight A kind of guy. I think this is due to both of us average spouses becoming better at being together, certainly my complaints have never been just about how he made our marriage hard...but how we both do. Anyway, I think we are pretty darn good at being married to each other at this point...I know it is a continually shifting things, I mean now that we have the new baby stage mastered we are done having children and moving on to parenting tweens and soon teens...that could be a challenge. (I hope not.) Who knows what the future holds for us, but I do know that whatever comes our way we will eventually figure it out and rise to the occasion together.

Chris got me something I have been wanting for a couple of years...a handgun! Without knowing he got me one, I planned a date night to go shooting so I knew how to handle his handgun. So I got my Christmas present early and got to take her shooting the same night. Right now it is locked up tight but after ruby and Alice take an 8-hour gun safety course and I am through nursing, I will concealed carry. I plan to wear it without the clip around the house only for awhile to get used to never, ever, ever removing it from my person. If I feel sure that I am always aware of it and locking it up when removing it, I will wear it in a bra holster. I know this is a controversial thing, but the passion felt by those who don't believe in protecting themselves is equal to my passion to protect myself. I will not remove it in my house to accommodate anyone but I will of course if asked to do so at someone else's house...if I ever do carry.

There really is nothing about shooting that I like. I don't ever want to aim a loaded gun at anyone or anything. That said, I do value having the ability to protect myself and my family if I ever needed to, which I sincerely hope I never do. The times when I feel this is most important is when a natural disaster strikes and victims who are not prepared to deal with that kind of situation become more victimized by the additional reality that the people who have guns are in charge. I have felt this way since hearing about what went on after Katrina when masses of people were sheltered in a big sports dome for days and scary, bad people who had guns did heinous things to innocent people. I don't want to be a sitting duck in a situation like that. While we are on the subject, all my my five readers should know that they should seek shelter at an LDS church building over any other option. Seriously, find your closest LDS neighbor and go to them and or to the nearest church building if you need help or shelter. Don't go anywhere else. Okay?

Back to the anniversary...we went shooting and I learned to how to use my gun. We both like it a lot. It is small and powerful. I was surprised how easy it was to hit the target, even with my first shot ever.

Our actual anniversary was on Sunday and the kids made the nicest celebration for us. See these cute spirals they cut? Cute.

They set a pretty table and made deviled eggs for us. Yes, yes, they did...it was a mess. Chris asked them if maybe the devil made the eggs because the mess wasn't our favorite. The kids that made the mess saved the whole situation by being so cute and proud of their hard mess making work.

Yes, there were place markers. Betsey wrote the words. So darn proud.

See the candle? It's a Yankee candle and Ru removed the label and made a new, anniversary appropriate one. We may have dined with grilled cheese sammies and tomato soup from a Campbell's can.

Another party favorite...a banner..."Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad". Gosh. Ruby needs to go into party planning business. She gets such a thrill out of being fancy and spotlighting those who have a need to celebrate.

Alaska Cruise...

I got to get away with my man for our ten year anniversary (and my birthday, as long as the anniversary was six months ago and we left on the trip two days after my birthday). We went to Alaska, the Inner Passage, our ports were Ketchikan, Juneau and Skagway. When Chris presented this idea I was not that enthusiastic because after all, we already living in cold, rainy and green all year and in May of all months, I want an escape to somewhere tropical! I knew we would love getting away together and the trip was planned with some good friends Aaron and Lori Stafford which was great...I just wasn't sure I wanted to visit Alaska over Mexico or Costa Rica or somewhere...outside the cold and rainy part of the world.

WE HAD A GREAT TIME and we HAD GREAT, SUNNY weather!

Here we are on formal night one of the nights on the boat. I get the tradition of formality on a cruise, but preferred on the Carnival cruise never having to do the formal thing. Many people did do it, but we didn't and we were still allowed to eat. This was a more formal feel for sure and it was maybe a little bit fun, but a lot of hassle. From left to right: chris, me, Lori Stafford, Aaron Stafford, Rebeckah and Mike Schneider.

I loved Ketchikan. It was our first port and we went ziplining there. It was such a good experience, but no pics to really show for the ziplining part...

Chris did some rock climbing after our zipping experience. The ziplinging was impressive. We probably went on like 8-12 different zips and we went really fast on some, over the water on one, and just all through this beautiful, forrested lot.

 Chris and I found "our place on the boat. It was looking over the indoor pool area (the pools on this boat were soooooo big and warm and there were MANY of them...so much more what you envision than our Carnival boat. Anyway, we would sit on these chaise lounge chairs for hours relaxing. Chris would read Dave Barry and I was knitting for a special little baby boy. I also slept and watched the scenery and made friends with a few nice people. It was so nice relaxing!!! 

 

Chris didn't want his picture taken...but I got him!  

 

Here we are in Juneau, our second port. We arrived and there was a lot of low fog and we were thinking it would probably rain, but we didn't have any rain on our whale watching tour or at the Mendenhal Glacier...it started to sprinkle as we were leaving the glacier en route to the boat. We saw lots of whales, it was fun and you always wish you could get a little closer. 

 

 

 

The Mendenhal Glacier was beautiful and quiet and just something I'd never seen in person before.  

Between Juneau and Skagway we had a lot of amazing scenery as we cruised through the Tracy Arm Fjord, a narrow interior passageway. I didn't take any pictures, but we sat by the windows in the dining room for quite awhile watching the waterfalls and chunks of glacier ice and eagles and seals swimming by. These were taken with Chris' iphone through the window. :)
Skagway was our final destination. We had gorgeous, sunny, short sleeved weather and the place was just breathtaking. During the cruise I kept thinking about how familiar much of the beauty was being from the northwest. Of course we don't have all that uninhabited space or the mountains that are on top of you covered in snow or the ice floating around...there was lots for our eyes to appreciate...but imagine an Alaska cruise if you were from Arizona or something. Every green tree would be a shock to your system. We floated the Taiya river while we were there, it was sunny and warm and relaxing and beautiful. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had a great sunset the evening we pulled out of Skagway.  

We had another day at sea full of relaxing and an outdoor movie and I slept in until after noon that day (we didn't have a window in our room...I don't know how it is possible that I slept that much, but I did).  

Our last port was Victoria, BC. We got off the boat and it was sunny and warm, but cooling off...we didn't get to the port until 7pm. We took a nice bus tour of Victoria and then I was freezing and craving a hot tub and so Chris and I went back to the boat. Victoria is a lovely city, we had taken the same bus tour a year ago, but enjoyed being on the bus and seeing it all again.  

Chris let me put a bright big kiss on his neck. I guess the humiliation was worth getting the extra attention from me? I don't know, but he was sporting that kiss all night.  

 

We were ready to come home by the end of the trip. We had thoroughly gotten away from "it all" and we still haven't quite come down from it. I still feel rejuvenated and more patient and appreciative of my daily role as a SAHM. As we were walking back to the ship in Victoria, I told Chris that even though we probably should not have gone on such a nice vacation and we really might not be able to afford to do it again for another five years...it's just so worth it, we need to do it even if we are broke for a few months leading up to it and a few months after. It's just kind of essential.

We are so indebted to my parents for having the kids the entire time. They were so well taken care of and although they were thrilled to see us (especially Betsey who kept saying "mommy on boat?" "daddy all gone?" while we were away), there were tears and pleadings not to take them home once it was time to leave Oma and Opa's house. That says it all...THANK YOU!! 

For my hubby...

Disclaimer: This post is intended to make my hubby squirm while he reads it at work. If you are thinking, "that's cheesy," while reading this, just know that that is the whole point. And I really mean it, so the husband squirming part is just a bonus.

I really did cry tears of love for my man in the car today. I was driving up to Seattle and as usual, we were all singing along to my favorite songs, only this postpartum mommy actually cried while listening to "I Run to You" by Lady Antebellum. I know I've talked about that song on here before, but while listening to it today, it hit me all over again that this is a song that speaks to my marriage.

With kids shacking up in local middle school bathrooms, meth addicts giving birth to drug addicted babies, friends having their hearts broken by their husbands and mass natural disasters happening so frequently, I just find such comfort in my tried and true blue husband.

When all the crazy things in the world are crowding my belief that I can raise three happy, confident, self-loving, everyone loving and safe young girls, I have my man's sturdy chest to rest my head on in the middle of the night. When I wake up from nightmares based in reality and realize that he's there too, with the same goals that I have and the same love for our people and the same confidence and faith in what we believe, a wave of relief washes over me.

Everyday he gets up (lately at like 5AM) and goes to work to a job that he only minimally enjoys and we don't see him again until around 6PM. When he gets home, he helps clean up the mess of the day and then he plays with our children until it's time for him to put them to bed.

Every night, I sit downstairs and listen to the bedtime fun--the girls laughing, screaming and begging for more. Then it quiets down for stories followed by ever-evolving renditions of songs that belong just to daddy and his girls. It turns out that no one can sing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Shmitt" like my man.

I just feel very safe with him in my life. Like this experiment that we've become partners in is going to work, and with lies becoming truth and the world spinning always toward a new disaster we are going to be okay.

Thanks for taking the fear out of life, Chris. I run to you.

Lyrics:

I run from hate
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late

I run my life
Or is it running me?
Run from my past
I run too fast
Or too slow it seems

When lies become the truth
That's when I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
To a new disaster, so I run to you
I run to you

When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to
I run to you

We run on fumes
Your life and mine
Like the sands of time
Slippin' right on through

I always run to you
Run to you

8 years...

Chris and I celebrated our 8th anniversary. It's nice to reflect on eight years of marriage and feel like I've never been this happy. I really dig my husband. He's been so supportive and aware of me during this pregnancy, he's super dad and we have been just enjoying hanging out together in the evenings. Life has been slower paced and it's nice to play scrabble together like we did after school back in high school (even though now, we play on my cell phone). Fifteen years ago we were skipping school to build a rabbit cage for the bunny my parents didn't know my boyfriend bought me. We would eat breakfast at Denny's and Chris would order, "Moons Over my Hammy" because then, I was Rebecca Hamm. We would break up and make up all in 24 hours. Now he proclaims to our two beautiful children that baby Betsey is in timeout for making mommy's ribs hurt. He devises creative sleeping arrangements using a beanbag chair to help me sleep well. He makes me hug out the anger when things flare up between us. I just think he's pretty great and I feel really lucky that I married him! He's as fun now as he was when we were in high school, but the bond between us is, of course, unrecognizable.

We stayed the night at a hotel. Oh...in Puyallup...because our house was out of commission. Ha, ha. We didn't do much, we are always really pressed with the holidays and it's hard to fit in a real anniversary celebration, and having the house junk weighing on us didn't help. My folks had the girls for us, which was soooooo nice. I had a few hours on Friday before Chris got off work to meet up with some talented friends to discuss some of the plans I have for our new bathroom. Chris and I shopped for all the tile stuff, which was fun. Then we hung out with our good friends John and Mimi and played games at their house. I'm sure we had dinner beforehand just the two of us, but I really don't remember.

We slept in and had a groundhog's day, free, hotel breakfast together. Then we went to the house and worked away on projects. Chris was painting some cabinetry and I was wrapping presents, getting our out of town gifts packaged and sent, etc. It's amazing how essential your house is to being organized during the holidays! At least we had some time with out the girls at our house to do some basic things that needed to be done.

We met the girls in Kirkland at a Christmas party with our lifelong friends, the ones who saw us through the early stages and were still there when we got around to starting our "real" life together.

I love you, Chris!