My girl Oprah...

Oprah and I have a love-hate relationship. Love, because I find her show compelling and educational and I believe she illuminates important topics and has enough viewership to really make a difference with the information she puts out there. Hate, because sometimes I become more of a drastic person as a result of watching her show. I think that it is commonplace for a deranged, baby-hungry person to c-section a pregnant lady using Internet instructions, and therefore I feel I have to lie when random people in public question me regarding when I'm due.

I do DVR all of her new shows, and I'd say at some point while I'm proofing a shoot or sewing or otherwise spending time alone, I'll get around to watching maybe 1/2 of her shows. I skip the ones about celebrities, movies, Dr. Oz, makeovers, etc. and I don't miss the ones that are about more interesting topics, like the two I watched recently about modern geisha lifestyle and registered sex offenders.

It's the registered sex offender episode that leads me to this post. I feel as though I'm pretty on top of protecting my children from gross people, or trusted people who don't appear gross but really are...those are the real ones to watch for. After watching a full hour of Oprah sitting down with four diversely different sex offenders (no audience, just the five of them and a therapist) and grilling them about their behaviors, I was happy to feel as though every situation where these offenders were able to victimize a child would never happen to my child. What I mean is, these were children who were not being protected by their parents and the situations they were allowed to be in are situations that I would never be idiotic enough to allow my child to be in.

I would never feel okay about a 65 year old man I'd known just a short time, babysitting my five year old and being alone with her in bedrooms and under blankets. Ever. I think I'd draw the line somewhere before my child being alone in that way with any person of any age of the opposite sex related or not related.

I would never let my five year old sleep in the same bed as her eight year old cousin. Or her eight year old brother. Or anyone...how about that? No, I do allow Ruby and Alice to share beds with each other when we are away from home, and I'd likely allow them to share beds with other sameish age female cousins too.

I just feel very hopeful that I actually can protect my children from abusers because I feel there's a big difference between choosing not to trust anyone and distrusting everyone. I don't feel distrust for the vast majority of every person on the planet that I choose not to trust. It's not about suspicions of all the great people in our lives, it's just about not taking any chances.

I have a friend who were abused in the middle of the day by an older neighbor boy, and a friend who was abused by her family's close family friends and neighbors, people they totally trusted. In fact, trust is the key element to most of the offenses committed!

I have not had issues with people being offended when my child can't play at their house because of an older sibling being home, or dad being around or whatever. People just get it. Ruby has a good friend whose daddy has a Tuesday/Wednesday weekend. Her mom asked if he could take our two daughters to a movie on one of their weekend days. Ummmmmm...NO!!! She asked me privately because she knows where I stand on these issues, and didn't want to get child hopes up unnecessarily. She wasn't in the slightest bit offended.

When my kids get invited to overnighters, that's an easy no. As many of Ruby's friends are children of my closest friends, it has worked well for us to have slumber parties where I'm there and sleep in the same room as my kiddos.

Anyway, my brother is a counselor at a lock down facility for youth sex offenders, and knowing what he knows, he's a helpful resource for me regarding boundaries for my kiddos. He can't even have a picture of his kids in his office!

That's all. While I found parts of the interview disturbing, I value the information and hope to see more of my children's peers protected from scenarios that are most likely to breed abuse.

Happy Valentine's Day...

I had a big day on Saturday, and didn't really have time to take these pics, so I didn't do their hair or change them out of their 100% pink outfits, I just needed to snap some pictures real quick and move on to other things. Anyway, they look darling in these pics regardless. I didn't even have to buy the lollipop, they came home from a play date, and I knew they would have to be in the pictures.

Valentine's Day isn't being celebrated for us in a school setting until tomorrow...so that's why I got away with this super late creation, designed and printed today.

I designed these, super simple, after some I saw on my friend Jenni's blog. Thanks, Jenni! The font is free here.
Ruby originally wanted hers to read, "lollipops are the best, Ruby likes them," but I had to alter it to be a little more valentines-ey. The pose is also her own creation. I took others that I liked better, but she picked this pic for her valentine. You can kind of see her cast on that right hand...it matches her all pink outfit!

Ruby's broken...

Rather then rewrite the experience, I'll just post an email that I sent to family after we got home from the ER. Written on January 30th, the day she broke her arm. Pictures follow...

We just got home. Yikes. What a nightmare. It's so hard to have your sweet little ones in so much pain.

So here are the details. Know that Chris doesn't even know much of this because he is completely traumatized and can't see x-rays, talk to doctors or hear anything about the procedure she underwent (laying on me) in order to reset her bones. You should probably direct sympathy toward he and Ruby, and questions to me, because he's just totally beside himself over this.
I guess they were on the stairs that go to the loft. The beanbag was below, and they were jumping (Chris was supervising) onto the beanbag. Ruby thought she wasn't going to make it far enough to reach the beanbag, so she asked Chris to move it closer. Well, she overshot and missed it, catching her weight with her hand. She broke at a really common, weak spot just above the wrist on her right arm. Chris said he heard the break, and it was visibly broken. He knew it instantly.

He completely lost it and screamed bloody murder and then called to me "Ruby just broke her arm!" and I told him to take her to the hospital. He literally didn't know even that that was what needed to happen, he was in such a state of panic. Poor daddy. So he bounded down the stairs with Ruby in his arms, put her in the car and took off. I wanted to go, but didn't have shoes, and neither did Alice.
So Alice and I grabbed piggy, blankie, a throw and a cell phone and we headed off to the hospital. Alice was crying and really worried. I was worried, but I don't panic or really exhibit stress, it's just not how I handle things...so I just wanted to get to Ruby, make sure she wasn't in shock and calm everyone down.

When I got to the ER, her arm was in an ice pack with a little cardboard splint, and she was calmish. This was our first visit to the ER to be on the fast track, and it really gave me an appreciation for triage, as I didn't want her to sit there in pain for hours and hours. We were taken care of really quickly, and if I'm ever there again with a child that has a high fever, I will not mind waiting until they can get to me. Before I was even done giving our insurance info, they were off to a room where they put in an IV and gave her morphine. Hallelujah.
Our friend Jason was there this whole time and his help was really appreciated. Once it was appropriate, he and Chris gave Ruby a Priesthood blessing. Then we went to x-rays. After the x-ray, they knew more about the break and needed to reset her arm. I had to talk to the doctor outside of the room so that Ruby and Chris didn't have to stress out. The doc of course had to disclose risks involved with the particular med they were going to use to put her out during the surgery. It wasn't general anesthesia, it was some drug that makes her not remember or feel pain, but she was very, very responsive and dramatic while they were doing their horrible (but necessary) work. It's never fun for anyone to say that there is a possibility that your child could die from the medication. I mean, I'd rather have a kid with a disfigured arm than no kid at all, but really, I knew the odds were minor and tried to tell myself that the only reason that they tell you that they might die is along the same lines as why bleach can only claim to kill 99.99% of germs.
Anyway, Chris was on the bed with Ruby on top of him, but he couldn't be with her for the procedure, so I took his place. Jason stayed with us in case there was any reason why Chris might be needed in an emergency. There were two doctors, two nurses, a lady in charge of monitoring her blood pressure, another in charge of the anesthesia and another in charge of monitoring her respiration. It was kind of scary. They had prepared me that she might need to be intubated if she responded to the meds in a way that would stop her from breathing on her own for a short time...it was just yucky not knowing how she'd respond.

Two grown men literally broke a sweat using all their energy to put her little tiny arm back into place. They were pushing on my leg which was under her arm for some of it, and it hurt ME! It was horrible. She was unresponsive, so they started their thing. Then she totally started crying and screaming and moving all around, so we had to restrain her and they gave her more meds. Then she still was freaking out and so they gave her more. Then she was out. HALLELUJAH. It was soooooo hard to see her be in such pain, but as they had promised, she didn't remember any of it. Thank goodness. So this literally took like 7-10 minutes of them yanking on her broken arm. Chris would have died and truly wants to know nothing about it ever. Not even in six months. They wrapped her arm and put it in a temporary cast with a sling.

She woke up pretty quickly, maybe 10 minutes later. She woke up and was talking a little bit of nonsense for a minute. She said she had a dream about Full House and was telling the nurses that she really liked Full House. Then she found out that they had cut her darling shirt off of her arm, and she was wondering if we could shop for a new shirt. So cute. Next, my little Pollyanna came out and she told the nurse that she was glad she didn't break her leg. Or two arms, or a leg and an arm. She said that there were so many bones in her body that weren't broken, just one. So sweet. She was in remarkably good spirits after this procedure. I guess her arm felt better once it was set right. She asked if she could sleep with Chris that night and was wondering when she could go home. I was super proud of her!

So then we had more x-rays taken to see how the procedure had gone. If they didn't get he job done, then the Orthopedic doc was going to be paged to come to the hospital for further evaluation and possibly another procedure or surgery. Jason took Alice home so that his wife Rachel could bring her to our house and put her to bed.
At this point, we were comfortable and taken care of, so we moved down in priority and things went slower. Eventually, a doc came and asked me to come see the images. I was hoping for good enough news to go home...and that's what we got. The break was clean and they were able to get the bones really close to put back in place. I guess if you look at your arm from the side, having it aligned straight from that view is the most important, and it's literally put exactly into it's place. Looking from the top down, like the picture I attached, the broken bone is aligned so that maybe 25% of the bones don't match up. This was a very good outcome, and hopefully the orthopedic doc will feel the same way on Monday.

We were discharged and now we are home. Ruby is a sweet little trooper and we feel very blessed that the evening went as well as it did.
Ruby had lots of sweet visitors, the first being my parents...my mom stayed for three nights which got us through the worst of her pain, adjustment and sensitivity. We are all so grateful they live so close and so willingly serve us.
Ruby's friend Ella brought her candy, warm homemade cookies, bubble bath and the best kind of flowers...the kind that don't die. (BTW...notice the amazing wood floors that recently went from drab to fab.)Jensen and Ellie came with Mimi and Mia and brought her sweet things. Ellie gave Ruby one of her Christmas presents!! I think the lack of enthusiasm in this picture is due to Alice being the photographer. She's obsessed with my new little camera, and took a lot of pictures of Ruby's room after it was "heart attacked" by our friends, the Wilcox's. Ruby was thrilled with the surprise, and I have a feeling we'll have to burn our house to the ground and rebuild in order to lose the sweet hearts with well wishing messages.

This is her temporary cast, which was in place for 11 days. I'll post pictures of the new cast soon.

One thing that amazes me is that people responded so generously to the news of Ruby's injury. A broken bone seems so common, and I have to say that I don't think I would have had the same reaction had I not been through this experience. Friends who couldn't visit in person sent her things in the mail, my in-laws emailed a message to be written on her cast, visitors were here cheering my girl up and wanting to hear her story, cousins called from out of town...all of which was really appreciated. It really is a horrific experience, even though it is thankfully short lived, as she was essentially pain free after the third day. Amazing.

Anyway, I know now that broken bones are quite an ordeal!

Horseback riding lesson...

I really wish the word "lesson" wasn't singular, but Ruby broke her arm (post soon to come) three days after the first lesson...so one lesson is all she gets for awhile! I really, really loved the nice lady that teaches these private lessons at her horse ranch, because she doesn't just teach riding, she teaches them grooming and proper horse care, even how to keep their stables clean, etc.

The one lesson Ruby had, she got to brush the horse and ride her. Because she insisted on holding onto the reigns, her teacher decided to go ahead and teach her how to stop, start and turn the horse.

Ruby tends to try not to beam sometimes when she's just beside herself with excitement. There was no containing her bliss on this day. She loves horses, and loved being able to ride one for the first time. She was thrilled, and it was the most fun being a witness to her joy.

Alice can swim!

Alice learned how to swim the beginning of January. She is really good at it like her sis. She swims under the water, and comes up for air and goes back under and keeps on kicking away. It's really cute, she's very excited and it made all the pool trips during our second hotel stay a good time.

Monster (white trash) trucks...

Chris developed a love for Monster Truck rallies back in the high school days. It was his turn for a date with Ruby, so he decided to go to the Monster Truck show with her. He invited a few friends and their little ones, and started prepping Ruby by watching Youtube videos of their favorite truck, "Gravedigger." Classy, I know. She was amped. The night goes down for her as the "best night ever!" She got to come home with a souvenir that fits right into her girly little bedroom...There's no pictures of my date night with Alice, but she and I went out to Ihop for her favorite chocolate chip pancakes, and then to the dreaded Chuck E. Cheese. We bought 50 tokens and had fun playing all the little games and sitting on all the super exciting "rides" (like the ones they charge three quarters for that they have in the mall or at grocery stores...). For all of our hard work, we were able to wait in a really long line to cash our 380 tickets in for a pair of stickers that you wear as pretend earrings, an airhead taffy and a sucker. I thought I'd have her home in bed by 8, but we didn't get home until 9:30. I did really enjoy being with my girl though. She was full of conversation all the way there and all the way home. The best part was that she just thanked me profusely for every single thing we did. I got her a McDonald's ice cream cone on the way home and made her day.

She has such an amazing memory. When we were leaving the classy Ihop establishment, a young man asked me for money for "smokes". I declined, and didn't think anything of it. Just today, almost three weeks later, Alice asked, "What is smokes?" I didn't have a reference for what she was asking, and didn't want to delve into a description of cigarettes if that wasn't what she was talking about, so I said, "where did you hear that?" and she said, "that boy that asked you to buy him smokes, renember?" Amazing memory!

A Christmas prank...

I can't find my Christmas pictures! I took the cutest pics of my kids with their cousins sitting on the stairs before the unveiling of Christmas morning magic, and I wonder if maybe I erased them on accident. Anyway, I thought I should still blog about Christmas, even without pictures.

A funny story. So all I wanted Chris to get me for Christmas was a point and shoot camera. I wanted a basic, $100 set up just so that I can easily cart around a camera in my purse and I don't miss out on memory keeping just because I don't feel like hauling five pounds around my neck. I also wanted Chris to be able to take the camera with him when I wasn't there.

A few weeks before Christmas, Chris emailed me links to several cheap deals on POS cameras. I was annoyed, because I wasn't asking for a fancy or expensive camera, and sometimes his frugality really bugs. So these cameras were like 5 mexapixel pieces of garbage that were larger than what they are making now, and were selling for like $40. I emailed him and said, "I just want a $100-ish POS that is new." So there wasn't more conversation.

Christmas morning, he had my presents labled "Rebecca #1", "Rebecca #2", etc. While I was opening #1, he was like, "What do you think it is?" I said, "A camera." So I open it and it is a super old, heavy, very large, 3.3 megapixel camera from the dark ages. There was no pretending to like it. I was like, "wow, how much did this cost you?" He said, "$20!" I was like, "good." So I keep opening, super annoyed by my husband's genetically programed instinct to always behave like we are poor college students...and the next present is a nice, brand new, POS camera that meets my requirements.

Boy, oh boy, did he have a hay day at that point. He was so happy with his little practical joke that 100% got me. How does he do that!? It was funny, and he is very fortunate that he didn't really try to cheapskate me on my reasonable request.

Anyway, so you will notice that I'll have more pictures that look like flashing, auto-focusing delight. I'm so happy with my little camera that gets the job done and doesn't feel like a chore!

My favorite artists...

Ruby was so sweet to draw this picture of she and I. I love the heart with the lines connecting us both, I love that we are wearing matching clothes, and that we have rosy cheeks. What a treasure!

Here's my favorite, favorite, favorite ever picture drawn by Alice. It is our family. I love the hair that doesn't touch our heads. I love the extra layers of teeth in Chris and Ruby's mouths. I love the curly feet.

Stone...

This is gross. Really gross. The girls took a bath with Stone. They weren't supposed to sit in the water, just stand like Alice is doing...but Ruby was sitting down when I got up there. Stone loved it, he has been in the house a little bit lately, which is fun for him and the girls.

Randomly, the girls asked Chris when Stone's birthday was, and I was informed the next morning that January 13th was going to be the big day...which was today (and Braden's birthday). Ruby loves to plan parties, so she went to town! On the door we enter the house through most (the inside garage door), Ruby hung a sign that read, "Wilcom to Ston's party. We hope that you wil hav a grat time. Mom, Dad, Ruby, Bitsy, Alice."

She drew pictures and hung them around the kitchen for Stone.Here's a picture of his present, which was a glow in the dark ball for fetching.Ruby and Alice cut triangles out of paper and thought they'd stand up on their heads like a conical hat, but they didn't work. I was right there while they were doing it and I helped when they asked how to punch holes for the yarn to tie it to their heads, I helped. I wasn't consulted as to why the hats they made didn't do their job, so I just stayed out of it. Here's one that didn't get cut out...After we shopped for presents as a family (we also got a swimsuit for Ruby...so she had to put it right on when we got home), Chris fashioned a dog birthday cake out of wet dog food and put dry dog food on top for additional appeal. The girls insisted on a candle, and then they hid the cake and Stone came in and hunted for it. When he found it, it was gone in seconds. Literally. Every lick, it was GONE.

Then Ruby wanted to play games. It was a party, after all! So the girls would put dry dog food in one hand and hold their closed fists out and Stone would lick the hand that had the food in it with perfect accuracy.
Then they played hide 'n' seek. The girls would hide and Stone would find them. Then Stone would hide and the girls would find them. It was silly and fun, fun, fun for all of us!

Single parenthood...

Chris used to work all the time. ALL THE TIME. Now, he sticks pretty easily to his 50 hour work week, and all is well. I haven't really had to do it all on my own since I started homeschooling a first grader in September. Today was an exception. I knew Chris needed to work, and I was happily going to do it all...but I was a beast by 7:30.

At the end of the day, I was thinking about what in the world a single parent does to survive. I realized I'd do many things differently if I were a single parent.

I wouldn't own a large home.
I wouldn't be 7.5 month pregnant.
My children would attend public school. If they had all-day Kindergarten, I'd be signing up. Preschool? Perfect.
I wouldn't spend the dinner hour at the YMCA with a million other people for 2 hours while the girls do their swimming team/lessons that don't even overlap.
Bedtime would be streamlined...one story time, a song, tuck in, and a kiss with no thirty minute cuddles.

I know it would still be a hard road, because I'd have to add providing for my family to my list, but there would be some simplifying that would help. Oh yeah, I'd also live with my parents. In a heartbeat. Maybe I could still do the swimming thing.

Anyway, thank goodness for having Chris, a healthy, hardworking, super hands-on partner to share the load!