What issues can you help with? I like to think that as a member of a conservative, religious, patriarchal and somewhat old school sub-culture, that I help people around me understand how to exist within the essential doctrines and still shed some of the super lame social constructs. Does that make sense? My religion isn't oppressive to women or hateful to those who choose to live life in any other way that isn't like "our way". There are many misunderstandings and social opinions put on LDS people by ignorance of members, media and a slowly evolving social history. I don't subscribe to a sexist religion or a homophobic re ligion. I'm not even part of a close minded or back woods religion. I do encounter plenty of people with behavior that perpetuates those constructs in the social culture of local church experience. I'm not into it. I'd like to think that challenging people like that, or simply suggesting that their views aren't in harmony with the essential aspects of our religious beliefs that I help people be more open minded and less judgmental. This doesn't mean that I think the true core of any of our beliefs need altering, I don't. For me, being open minded and loving everyone and believing in freedom of choice at all costs is in perfect harmony with my faith.
How can you express yourself creatively? I don't know if I am very creative. I think I am more of a precise, calculated, planned person. I'm not very willy nilly. For example, I love to sing, but I cannot, will not and never will sing Karaoke because I take myself too seriously and I know it will sound bad. I do things that people think are creative, like take pictures...I take pictures, but for me this is a technical endeavor, not a creative one. People who are creative at photography posses a magic that I don't have. I copy those people.
How do you manage your time? What works for you? I procrastinate. Then when I'm under the gun, I perform at my best. It's not ideal and it doesn't always work, but I've been doing it my whole life. It works for me.
If you were to leave the world today, what’s your manifesto? Hmmmm. I'm not gonna answer this. I have a quirk. I always hear from people who have lost loved ones, that they are amazed at the ways that person who is now deceased was unknowingly preparing for death. Grudges are forgiven, life insurance randomly increased, vacations always on the back burner are booked and enjoyed thoroughly. Then, they die. I feel like this entire process of thirty questions is in a way writing my own life sketch. People would say, "Oh, how wonderful she got that all written down before she was hit by the semi on Tuesday. She was preparing and she didn't even know it. What a blessing." So. I'm not writing my "manifesto," because it's like saying I am ready to die, and I'm not. This belief holds me back in various areas of my life! I'll think, "I should write this random family member a letter saying how much I love and admire them." Then I'm like, "nah...then I'd die."
What makes you come alive? What ignites you? I really hate to answer this question honestly because it makes it sound like I believe the way I believe or choose what I choose for the sake of a Devil's advocate rise. It isn't like that, but I do get a rise or become alive when I feel I have discovered something or learned something that denies or contradicts the status quo. I don't blabber to the masses about these findings, I keep them primarily to myself and if I extend them at all it is to people with like minds and opinions. I enjoy having information presented to me as fact and then doing my own analysis and study of the topic and formulating my own opinions. I guess maybe this boils down to being ignited by freedom and choice. I love asking "why" and I subscribe to conversations and efforts where the "why" is being explored. For example, I think it is seriously awesome that I have four children and have only treated them with antibiotics a combined total of less than five times. Betsey and Leo never (obviously on Leo, he's so young still!)! Alice once! Ruby four other times! I am ignited knowing that I have found (or been shown is more like it, I'm no pioneer) natural remedies that I rely on for common health issues that on the whole work every time. I don't hate antibiotics, I am glad they are there when I need them, but I love having alternatives that are effective, safe and without negative side effects.
Music. Music ignites me. I love meaningful lyrics and unique or even very simple harmonies. I have been reading a lot lately and I always think about what songs would be a good soundtrack to each chapter in the books I read. Some of the authors do provide their soundtrack at the end of the books, but the artists are often obscure so I don't relate to those. I have a soundtrack to my own life. I have favorite friendship songs, songs that were actually in the background of my life experiences, breakup songs, falling in love songs, married songs, parenting songs...etc. I love music!
Family. I can't believe Chris and I became parents together almost eleven years ago. I love the routine and traditions and humor and inside jokes that make up our uniquely ours family. I love reading the scriptures and praying together. I love how Betsey has to pray EVERY SINGLE TIME ANYONE prays. It seems like she isn't going to grow out of this, it's been going solid for like nine months. I love listening to music and singing along with my kids. I love how when Chris comes home, my kids pick the Johnny Cash Pandora Channel instead of the Carrie Underwood channel. I love the silly games the kids make up to play rough with Chris in the evenings. I love how much Ruby and Alice light up for every move Betsey and Leo make.
What are your most painful memories? This might seem dumb, but my most painful experience that affects me the most today is the break up between Chris and I when we were in college. I feel like because of that break up and the five years before we were married, I in a small way can imagine what it would be like if I/we were stupid enough to lose what we share now. Certainly, our relationship at that time was immature and not ready to become a long-term life. However, I guess it impacted me because when I have loathed being married at times or wished he would go away for good, I know in my heart what it is like to not have him in my life. I really would hate it! Even when he really, really bugs me! I have other painful memories that I don't feel like sharing. Nope.
There those are my final questions for that exercise! I am done! I didn't like the last few, they are about food and exercise and seemed redundant about what makes you weep, etc. I just want to be done...I'm good.
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